#4 Deafening Noise of Silence ("Let It Go" Version)

So quiet..so quiet. So quiet!

Today was a very stressful day for me and my classmates. Although we have known that it will be, and I have known certainly that it would be, it seems to be the creepiest day that I have ever encountered in taking a chapter exam.

Just last Tuesday, our professor has told us to prepare for the given examination. And yes, since it has been pretty obvious to us that we have been pushed to the limits to catch up with whatever our lesson for the past few days had been, we felt that we were forced to immediately squeeze our heads to understand what we were unable to understand.

Would it be possible for us to get mentally paralyzed afterwards? Or beforehand? I don't know.

Last night, or the rest of the afternoon yesterday in general, up to last night, oh man! I preoccupied myself with reviewing my notes. And only until then was I able to remember that I forgot to wake myself up during most of the discussions. Pathetic, alright. But what was good to know is that I only fell asleep not at all lectures. So I got to look at few of the lessons we had had which was for me, still not good enough because I get stuck for like ten minutes staring at how the solution came up with such an answer overnight.

Before I forget to mention, I was in company of one of my board mates who tend to be having the same course of subject as mine. So to speak, the moon and the stars yesterday evening was not as hard on me as I suspected.

I was able to ask two or three questions accordingly as we have gone through the topics on both of our books and hers and my notes, and because she was not that nerdy at all but a bit bubbly and cute to be exact, I enjoyed getting serious and getting silly both at the same time.

Meanwhile, as student, I am part a lover still like most of my age. So to see my hubby passing by the staircase and somehow trying to steal the attention I was pouring over my reviewers, I felt both the heavenly distraction and the thundered hell in me. Heavenly because who would deny that feeling all the hearts and the showered petals within oneself is absolutely exhilarating? But, thundered, too, because I can not afford every single moment to pass out on me with obviously too many papers and numbers laid on my table! I can not buy time to review again and also, I can not steal another chance like last night sooner. So how is that supposed to be faced by another time, maybe?

Anyway, so much of last night, let us go back to what has happened this afternoon.

To enter our designated classroom was a piece of a cupcake, yes, but to think that after getting settled on my seat, it did not take time for our professor to come in and start giving us a sheet of a problematic paper with a bunch of numbers in a row! Oh..I so love Algebra.

We were honored to consume all of our class hour and to pass an hour and a half just holding a pen and looking down at our questionnaire and onto our answer sheet seemed to be ridiculously a joke for me! Was not my professor kidding me? Or us? Whatever. It just seemed to have no justice at all.

But there was the silly side of my hypothalamus again—chanting to me the melody that I learned to hate and accepted to love: Let It Go. 

I tried. You know, I tried. I really did try. But the power of that song and of its melody just seem to haunt my nerves down and so I began to sing! And yes, absolutely yes! I sang in falsetto on my seat while answering those numerical equations and amidst the classmates I have who tend to lend their ears on my song. I could have felt shy or even embarrassed afterwards. But what surprised me is that I neither felt both. Maybe because I enjoyed or somewhat like that but a part of my head again has bumped an idea in me that it was, idiomatically speaking, because of the deafening noise of silence in our room.

And what made it even better, what made me feel even better, is that in the middle of our agony—the examination itself—I made my classmates laugh.